Love Yourself And How To Do That
Each of us knows that the key to success in the business world, in the media or in private life is to be confident. We are bombarded with quotes and articles about how important it is to accept oneself. You have probably been encouraged to love yourself by your close friends, family or maybe your coach or TV idol. But how to do it? There is no one definite answer, but we are here to share our tried-and-tested advice with you.
Love Yourself – and How to Do That
Remember confidence is not thinking “they will like me”. Confidence is thinking “I’m fine if they don’t”
A lot has changed since I heard this phrase for the first time.
Remember that people who have achieved incredible successes such as international careers or successful businesses have often struggled with rejection or failure. Today, you see them as a “finished product” that has no flaws and seems to be created for something bigger. The reality is different and it turns out that self-confidence can be learned and, what’s more, it can make people perceive you as more likable. In other words, if you see yourself as a good, valuable and just cool person, and it is clear and visible to others, people will be likely to believe it too and as a result, they will eagerly follow you.
You don’t have to be perfect, extremely smart or beautiful, to impress others, because as it turns out, what impresses others most is self-love and self-confidence. People, who also struggle with their own issues and imperfections, are astonished meeting somebody who feels fully comfortable in his or her own skin.
This is also how our mind works when we think of our biggest idols. Of course, we find their talents and achievements remarkable and inspiring. But the truth is, what really makes us dream of being like them, is frequently their invincible confidence that cannot be fought with any amount of hate. They just seem to know who they are and what they want and this is truly beautiful. The good news is, you don’t have to be outstandingly gifted to be confident. The key is to find the real “you” and live in harmony with this person. The key is to love yourself.
Surround Yourself With Positivity
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” – Anna Taylor
Believe me or not, but who you spend the most time with really matters. Have you heard of the saying?
We are an average of 5 people with whom we spend the most time.
Think about the a few people you spend most time with. Have you noticed that over time you take over their little habits and behaviors? Haven’t you recently repeated your friend’s favourite saying or joke? Or maybe thanks to your loved one you start liking something that you could never take to?
These are just examples of how the environment affects us, although we are not aware of it. Thus, when we surround ourselves with negative people, sadness and pessimism prevail in our lives. When there are smiling positive people around us, we not only have more support but above all, strength and joy of life start dominating. It’s hard to be happy among unhappy people, but it’s equally difficult to be gloomy among friends who “infect” you with positive vibes.
Surrounding with positive vibes does not limit to a group of friends. Listen to music that puts you in an upbeat mood, especially in the morning when you start the day. Expose yourself to art that inspires you and lets you see the beauty of the world. Get interested in the activities of influencers who promote self-love and self-acceptance. Sign up for dance or theatre classes that will make you laugh and simply have a blast!
There’s Noone Like you
„Confidence is key – once you have that, you are unstoppable.” – Timothy Weah
This is another advice that may sound cliché. But in fact, if you put this belief into practice, you will quickly see a positive change.
It is worth remembering that even if we are not as good as others on any ground, there will not be even one person in the world doing something exactly as you do.
It’s particularly easy to notice in art – although thousands of people in the world boast fantastic voices, we typically have several favorite musicians whose voices attract us most. Often what fascinates us is not the best quality, but simply distinctiveness and individuality. Think of Madonna, which has only 3 octaves, and yet is an icon of pop culture, known for her self-confidence and originality.
Nobody looks like you in this dress. There is no other voice like yours. Your paintings cannot be copied. There is no other person in the world who will do anything in YOUR way, even if they try very hard. If you find an element of beauty in everything you create, I guarantee that others will follow.
Charles Bukowski — ‘If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.’
If you’ve ever read love guides, you know that before you get into a relationship, you should love yourself. Until you fully accept yourself, it will be harder for you to live in harmony with your partner. You will bring all uncertainty and anxiety to the relationship. It is also wrong to think that someone else is your “other half”, that you need an additional person to complete you. No partner, even the most perfect, will suddenly make you love yourself and live in harmony with who you are.
If you are convinced that everything you need is compliments and affection to feel valuable, you are wrong. It will quickly turn out that you will consider compliments as jokes, lies or willingness to please you.
So what is “dating yourself”? The whole concept is to feel calm in your own company. Meeting friends is a great option, but if you feel uncomfortable while being alone, that’s a bad sign!
Try to go to the cinema alone. Make yourself happy by buying something you have dreamed of for a long time. Buy yourself flowers without a special occasion. Go for a walk or a cafe without friends.
How do you feel then? Do you feel emptiness? Do sad thoughts come to your head? Do you feel stupid and think that going out alone shows that you do not have any friends? If so, it can mean that you do not feel completely comfortable with yourself. Keep in mind that it can make interpersonal contacts very difficult as well.
Spending time alone, especially outside, may seem strange at first. Make it your routine. Start thinking more about yourself than about others. Love yourself as your own best friend and partner.
Step Back and Notice What You’ve Been Through
“Accept the pain, but don’t accept that you deserved it.” – Brandon Sanderson
We are bombarded with the saying “do not ever look back.” However, sometimes, it is worth doing it to remember where we used to be and where we are now.
From time to time, it is worth to pat your shoulder and say to yourself, “you have lived through worse things than what is happening now.” It is very easy not to notice progress in what you do every day. But if you go back a year or two, and remember where you were then, you will see many changes. You have gained numerous experiences – good and bad – that made you the person you are today. You’ve learned a lot from life and other people. You are enriched with new acquaintances and skills. You’ve seen many new places and faces. Every small step ahead counts. You can only get excited about the next things that await you in the future!
Bear in mind, in a year or two you can be an even better version of yourself. Imagine how much you can learn in this time and how many new experiences you can get.
Loving yourself is a journey, not a destination. Everybody has worse days when they feel vulnerable. Remember to be around good, positive people who inspire you and motivate you daily.
Eventually, you will get there.
~ Julia ♥