8 tips how to be a happy person
How can we be happy?
Happiness. It’s hard to describe without actually using the word.
Henry David Thoreau in his Book “WALDEN“ wrote: “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”
We crave to be happy and we are able to do all it takes to be happy.
Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher, believed that happiness was more than a state of mind. You could feel happy, but you could also be happy. He described it as two factors coinciding together: Hedonia, the feeling of pleasure, and Eudaimonia, having a good life. Happiness occurs when you do something you enjoy and when you feel content with your life. As “easy” as that.
As adults, we are becoming more and more unhappy. It’s all due to less free time and a lot more worries. Pressures from work, family issues, relationship problems. It burns us out.
But do we have to follow the pattern? Can’t we really do nothing about it?
I strongly believe that Your life is in your hands. And you are able to help yourself.
These are my top tricks how to maintain happiness.
If you like to do fun stuff you can start with doing this 12 questions quiz about happiness in your life. Your answers are confidential. This quiz will help you to better understand your current situation and this post will give you answers to your questions. Have fun!
8 tips to be a happy person
1. Change Your Perspective
Happiness is state of mind…. that’s the good news because you can choose to be happy. Simply make the effort to monitor how your mind works. Notice when you feel good, o.k, and bad. How do you react in certain circumstances?
Make a conscious choice to boost your happiness. It’s all in your head. In The Happiness Hypothesis, a mind is compared to a man riding an elephant. The elephant represents the powerful thoughts and feelings – mostly unconscious – that drive your behaviour. The man, although much weaker, can exert control over the elephant, just as you can exert control over negative thoughts and feelings.
Happiness is about your inner reactions to events – what you think and believe and how problems affect you as a person.
2. Write down your negativity and reframe it
All that you have to do is take a piece of paper and divide it in half. On one side write down negative emotions such as pessimism, resentment, and anger, or whatever you may be feeling. On the other side write the opposite – positive emotions, such as empathy, serenity, and especially gratitude. If you’re thinking of a specific situation or a person that makes you feel bad or sad, or angry – give just ONE proof of the positive emotion that is related to that person.
Try this mind game 😉
For example, you may say: I hate my friend from work because […], so you write down on the paper the feeling of hatred…. then reframe it. Opposite to hatred is love, right? So think of one positive thought of love or somewhere close to it – I’m sure you can force yourself to do it – think for example: why you could love him. So it would be like this: I love this person because [one time he said something good about me in front of my boss]. And from now one focus your mind only on this positive content. Even though you may not fully believe in this and you may feel it’s even weird to think like this in this particular situation. Pretend it. After you repeat the process few times in your head your brain waves will change.
The woman who inspired me to reframe my negative thoughts is a great writer and life coach Byron Katie. She was diagnosed with deep depression before she found out that she is actually happy when she’s not having certain thoughts. When she started to analyse deeply the scheme of her own changing feelings… how she was becoming depressed, she understood that it’s all under control of her mind. She wrote few great books that I strongly recommend reading. My favourite: “Who would you be without your story”. It’s mind and life changing position.
3. Stick close to things that cause smile on your face
This is really helpful when you feel down. Think of this one activity, maybe your hobby that makes you happy.
Or if you don’t have any particular hobby Pick a Skill; Master It. Work till you own it. Think of something you, ve always liked when you saw others doing it. And just start it. Go there. Do it. Fake it till you feel it. It can be a sport, extreme sport, painting, gardening or taking care of a puppy. For me, this is ice skating. It gives me power and a lot of endorphins. When I finish my training I feel like my mind got good reset and I feel like renewed. I love this feeling.
Excellence in anything increases your potential in everything.
4. Choose job that you love
We spend most of our life at work or doing something for others. We’re in service. Make sure that you dedicate yourself to the cause that fills your body and your soul with positive feelings.
If you don’t have any positive feelings about your work maybe it’s a sign that you should change it, find a better environment. Place where you feel appreciated, where people are grateful for what you do and where you can use your talents.
If you’re interested you can start your own blog and share your unique message with the world. It’s easy to get your domain and hosting, I’ve explained how to set all up here. In less than 15 minutes you can have your own website and even start making a small monthly profit while still working at your current work. Blogging is a perfect solution for your mums who stay at home but want to make an extra income to their new extended family.
5. Have Close Relationships
Relationships are perhaps the most important thing when it comes to overall life satisfaction, at least for most people.Human beings are social animals 😉
How many close relationships should I have? You may ask.
More friends don’t mean more happiness. The quality of the people in your life matters the most, so you should choose well.
It is proven that people get a ‘happiness boost’ when they are around positive, loving companions. Fostering close relationships with the people around you, whether that means friends, family, neighbours or work colleagues, provides a powerful source of love and support and increases feelings of self-worth.
6. Treat Yourself well
Basically – take good care of yourself. nobody is in charge but you. When we were little kids we had our mummy and daddy taking care of us: of what we eat, what we do, how we rise and develop our abilities. Now – it’s us and only us who are responsible for our well-being.
When it comes to the right diet – a healthy brain is essential when pursuing happiness. Nutrition plays an important part in this. The food we eat can regulate our moods and improve our brain functions, ultimately increasing our happiness. There are particular vitamins like Vitamin D, from the sun, B-6 and B-12 found in foods such as broccoli and potatoes and nutrients that we can eat which have an incredible impact on our brain and our body. You better take care of yourself and your diet – yes – this will make you a happier and healthier person for sure. And you can spread this passion for good food on others too.
You can go shopping if this is what you like and buy yourself something nice as a gift from you to yourself. Not only that In fact, a variety of research shows that most people are far happier when buying experiences vs. buying material goods. So do something crazy from time to time. Why not?
7. Plan a trip to a new place
This is one of my favourites.
Travel is the perfect catalyst for happiness. Being in the foreign country forces me to step out of my comfort zone – and it’s a great confidence-builder. I’ve learned so much about the world and, most importantly, about myself. Do you know this saying by Saint Augustine
“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.”
8. Have short term and long term vision of your life
Ask yourself a question, where do you want to be where do see yourself
1 – In 1 year
2nd – In 5 years
3rd – in 10 years.
Without clear vision you can easily get stuck in your life, you may feel that nothing interesting happens, that it’s boring, but you don’t see how much you’ve walked already, where you started and where you are today. You need to have goals and make your decisions based on what you truly want to happen in your life. Without short term and long term vision you will always feel lost and unhappy, unsatisfied in your life.
What does it take to be a happy person? – conclusion
Hope you’re not surprised now that happiness can be a matter of choice – not just luck. No one is lucky to be happy. We create our own happiness and we use our mind/brain to do that.
But if you have tried it all and it doesn’t help you to bring back your happiness you can always try a session with a licensed life coach who will help you go through the process. Remember, you’re never alone. There are always people who will be willing to help you out.
But also remember – some days are just bad days, that’s all.
You have to experience sadness to know happiness.
Did you like the post?
Now I’d like to hear from you. Share with me:
#1 What is your tip for a quick fix of a bad mood?
#2 What is your definition of happiness?
You can watch this episode on You Tube 😉